Tuesday, July 30, 2013
It has been one of those few days! I rocked my workout yesterday and completely fell apart today. I lost a friendship a few days ago, and I can't say it didn't bother me. It did! I wanted it to work but I can't change who I am and I cannot worry that everything I say will be misconstrued and it was. I am humble enough to admit I am not everyone's "cup of tea". I have found people either accept who I am or they attempt to change me. It rarely works in my favor. I am honest, I say what is on my mind. I rarely cry. In my younger years, I really hated who I was, because I felt so many people did not like me and I for one could never figure out why? Time and a few close friends and a loving spouse and kids fixed most of that. Now and then, I let down the wall that protects me, and again this rarely works out for me. I am shy and for good reason. Being alone is a good thing you can't get hurt. Which brings me to today's post. I joined a site that my former trainer set up with workouts for every day. I set out this morning with great intentions. I ran a 5k or 3.2 miles. I did this in 30 minutes. So far so good, then I set out to do the days workout which was weighted swings with a 20lb. dumbbell and in and outs. 4 rounds of 100 swings, 50 in and outs, 100 swings and 50 more in and outs. I was supposed to do this 4 times and for time. I started on those swings and those really threw me. My back started to protest, then my breath, and finally the puddle building on the floor did me in. I did 70 swings and that was it no more! I was frustrated, I rarely quit, but I also don't need an injury. To add to my frustration, I had to log my failure, usually I don't post my failures. To top it off, that former friend of mine completed it. I really think it is great for her but made me feel worse. Tomorrow is another day. This is where I can put down my failures and really there is no judgement. I have no idea if many people read this, this is for me. I workout for me. It is honestly the most selfish thing I have ever done. Why do I write about it, because not every day is bad, some days are terrific. For everyday that I have a truly bad day there will be a day when I will feel like I can kick ass and take names. So for anyone who reads this, for whatever reason. I could use some extra encouragement. Please don't criticize, my grammar is not perfect. My faults are very apparent to me! By the way that back of mine that screamed during my workout is still aching, time for Vitamin M.